Wednesday, July 29, 2015

51 Things That Would've Been Different If "Harry Potter" Were Set In The Philippines

“Isa kang mahikero, Harry.”

BuzzFeed / Warner Bros.

1. The Hogwarts Express wouldn't come on time and when it does, it would be so full of passengers the trolley won't be able to roam around.
2. And if—in an event of a miracle—the trolley does come around, it would sell adobong mani, Piattos, and magical V-Cut instead of Chocolate Frogs.
3. And instead of, "Anything from the trolley?" the vendor would yell, "Aaaahh mani, kasuy, mani, kasuuyyyy, mainit bagong luto!"
4. The Floo Network would be a huge flop because who the hell has a chimney in this country?!
5. And Harry wouldn't get Cedric's tip to "take a bath" because he takes a bath with a tabo, not in a freaking bath tub.

BuzzFeed / Warner Bros.

6. Also, Fred and George wouldn't be able to catch Harry sneaking to Hogsmeade because there's no fucking snow.
7. Rita Skeeter would write for Bulgar and Tiktik.
8. Vicky Belo would offer to fix Voldemort's nose. Or, I guess, give him one?
9. And Voldemort will run for presidency because that's what criminals do in the Philippines.
10. Students may choose between walis ting-ting and walis tambo for their broom. Or rather, the broom chooses the wizard.
11. And Professor McGonagall would give Harry the Tambo 2000, fresh from Baguio.


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Grace Helbig And Hannah Hart Play Superhero "F#@K, Marry, Kill"

“I’m gonna f*ck Wonder Woman, sounds wonderful.”

Legendary

Keely Flaherty / BuzzFeed

Marvel


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